Confident Women: Carmen Darwin
Carmen Darwin is the creator of CarmenDarwin.com, the Evolution House Blog and the associated Design School for the everyday woman. Having realised that her multitude of experiences and business ventures could be of value to many women seeking help for their home design and decoration, she set out to make a difference by offering something unique in the way of design schools. With a background as an interior designer, renovation planner, garden designer, property stylist, real estate consultant and teacher she now brings to the table her skills to help women around the world to create a home that they love.
What does conﬁdence mean to you?
Confidence for me means being able to take steps in the direction of your dreams, desires or passions regardless of the opinions of others. It means feeling powerful about who you are, the choices that you make, and the services that you deliver because you know you are good enough just as you are. Confidence to me is when a woman pursues what she believes in when sometimes the odds are stacked against her by both society and people she loves.
Where did you learn how to be conﬁdent, or how are you learning now?
My mother is a confident woman and growing up as one of five children you have to stick up for yourself and fight for you place a little. I always believed that I had a lot to offer but I am still learning to embrace that. The biggest learning curve for me at the moment is about learning to be confident in who I am as my face wrinkles, my body changes and my business direction changes. I think confidence is contagious and people like the feeling of being around someone despite their imperfections but I still battle with keeping abreast of this in my life.
What do you think makes it difﬁcult for women to love themselves and own who they are?
Personally for me I think it’s about our self-disappointment at how our bodies look or our lack of personal or financial success or the fact that we may be stuck doing a job that we hate. I think we look inside ourselves and think “Is this the best I could do by this age with the time and resources I had?” “Is this all I have to show for my life when so many other women seem to have it all together.” I am wise enough to know now though, that very few women feel that they have it all together.
What challenges do you face that dampens your conﬁdent levels?
Working so hard and feeling that so often you are not compensated financially for the effort that you put in. It is so easy to look at success stories and not know the hardship and time commitments that happened behind the scenes of those success stories. We can easily fall into the trap of thinking it was an easy ride, when in fact for many that is far from the truth. It’s just we never really see the battle scars that others have as a result of their quests.
Who is the most conﬁdent person in your life and what qualities do they have?
My girlfriend who is a highly successful business woman, mother, wife and friend. She ooozes confidence and never ever gets caught up in putting herself down even when she puts on lots of weight or has a crisis. Her quality is that she is always looking to the positive, always ahead to a solution and she rarely ever dwells of the negative. It’s like she made up her mind early in her life to only put energy into stuff that really matters. Not focus petty happenings that would take her energy away from moving forward. She has a super-abundant mindset and I find that confidence so wonderful to be around.
When do you feel your most conﬁdent, powerful, or beautiful?
When I have helped my clients with a home renovation planning or a gorgeous new room design and I know that I have made them happy. I like to be able to help make a big impact in the way people live in their homes. I also feel powerful when I am able to use everything I have learnt in my life and business and have conversations about business and know what I am talking about. These are also the times when I feel most beautiful.
Do you have any quick conﬁdence tips when you want to boost your self-esteem?
I listen to a range of podcasts about people’s lives and go for a walk around this stunning dam and bushland close to me. I love hearing a range of different stories, from people all around the world, with all sorts of circumstances. It always makes me feel like I am fortunate too to be who I am and doing what I do with my life. I also feel the natural bush changes a chemical in my brain and I can move forward if I am feeling down on myself.
Is there anything else you would like to share or advice for other women who may be struggling with their own conﬁdence and self-worth?
Stop comparing yourself to others. While it looks like they have it all together, every woman I know has something that eats away at their confidence, whether you get to see it or not. Work on little actions every day that make you improve your confidence and keep your eye off the big result. Just a little bit each day moving forward. That then becomes a habit and that habit then becomes a lifestyle.
My life’s purpose is to be me – my own unique blend of passions, interests, ideas, quirks and gifts. My mission is to discover more about who I am, to love myself and others at the deepest level, to experience joy and happiness and to learn and grow into the highest embodiment of myself.
Thanks Carmen! xx
You can find Carmen here: