5 ways to empower as a mum

5 ways to empower yourself as a mum

5 ways to empower as a mum

It happened again. You planned a million things for your day and before you blinked, your day is gone. And you haven’t even done half of them! What’s worse is that you’ve been so busy seeing to everyone else – your business, your kids, your partner and your home. And you didn’t even start to think about your own things. Apparently, we’re supposed to eat healthy, exercise, take time for self-care and be this amazing Supermom!

And then it hits you. This wasn’t exactly what you signed up for. Surely life is about more than just changing nappies, planning lunch boxes and juggling your 9 – 5? Or in my case, my 9 to 24/7….

As moms, it’s second nature for us to sacrifice ourselves for our children. The problem with that is that we are teaching them to do the same. Eventually we are all just sacrificing ourselves to raise the next generation and no one is actually reaching their full potential. Ever hear of that saying, “children do what we do, not what we say”?

So how do we change this as busy moms in a modern world where there are so many things constantly pulling at our attention? The answer is simple, but not that easy. See it all starts with you, reflecting on where you are. Facing yourself and sometimes your fears.

For many of us, we’ve let things progress so far that we no longer know what we are passionate about. Or, what our purpose in life is, other than our role as mom, wife or business women. It may sound like a big philosophical question to really find the answer of who we are or what we want to be to achieve our own ultimate happiness in life.

So, I’m going to share a few action steps with you that you can start taking right away to take back your power. Take control of your own life and ensure that you wake up every day feeling like you love the process. Or, that you like what you are learning and how you are growing, even if you’re not at that place of doing what you love yet.

5 ways to empower yourself as a mum

1) Acknowledge yourself

Let’s start with your emotions. As children, we are often raised to not have emotions. “Don’t cry” or “Don’t be angry”. We’re taught that emotions are bad and we must suppress them. It’s almost like we’re expected to have one setting every day, all day: happiness.

So here’s the thing about emotions……. they’re NORMAL. Not good or bad, they’re just part of who we are and as women we have access to the full spectrum of emotions 🙂 We just need the tools to deal with them appropriately. And then we can teach them to our children.

So the first step I want you to take, is to acknowledge how you are feeling. Right now. Start with how you are feeling in this very moment as you are reading these words. Then, explore a little wider. How do you feel when your kids bursts into a tantrum or that difficult client slams the phone in your ear. Take a breath, and acknowledge that feeling. Say to yourself: “I am feeling angry / sad / frustrated”. Say it out loud so that you fully acknowledge and give space to the emotions you are experiencing.

Related: Mindfulness to cope with uncomfortable emotions

2) Acceptance

The next step is to really accept yourself the way you are. You are whole and complete. Not some half-baked project that still needs to have a ton of work (or surgery) done before you’ll be perfect one day. Or never. Yes of course we all have our flaws. But that’s what makes life interesting. Each mistake we make is an opportunity to grow and learn.

You have to understand and accept that we all do the best we can with the tools we have at that particular moment in time. If you could’ve done better, you would have. I know we all feel like we could or should do better, but sometimes it’s OK to just be human.

So start practicing in small ways to accept yourself. A good technique I’ve learnt is to start looking in the mirror in the morning and say to myself: “You’ve got this girl, you are awesome and I love you just the way you are!”.

3) Practice Mindfulness

Start being mindful of the actions that you are taking each day. Even if you only have 5 minutes for the lunch break sandwich, stop, eat your sandwich while savouring the moment and enjoying the taste and how it is nourishing you. Don’t check your phone, don’t plan or think about anything else, just be mindful about that moment. Then start doing it with more moments in your day. You’ll be amazed at how much more fulfilling your day will seem when you really become aware of your moments.

Related: 6 ways to to mindful when you hate sitting still

4) Regular Self-Care

You can’t give what you don’t have. This includes love, time and energy. To me, self-care is more than just going for that wonderful massage or manicure. It’s about looking at all areas of your life and seeing if they are really nourishing you on all levels – your body, your mind and your soul. There’s so much you can do to look after yourself despite having a busy schedule. It really comes down to priorities. If it’s important to you, it will get done. So make self-care a priority and see how your life starts changing with how much more you can give to others.

Related: 7 ways to practice self care this weekend

5) Connect with Others

DIY is great for art projects, but when it comes to really getting to know and understand who you are and why you act the way you do it really shouldn’t be a journey you take alone. Ultimately it will be you who figures out what is best for you and how you can achieve the best balance possible, but the process of getting there can sometimes be gruelling. Find a hand that you can hold, a shoulder you can cry on and most of all someone who really uplifts and supports you in your journey.

Go be the best version of you mama, by first empowering yourself!


Our Confident Life Contributor

empower mum Tanya

 Tanya Lochner is a Mom Strategist, Success & Empowerment Coach, Author and Holistic Health & Wellness Advocate. She’s Natural Mama to three incredible human beings and four fur kids. Living in beautiful Cape Town, aptly known as the Mother City, her passion for natural living came about when she was diagnosed with a severe hormonal condition that would ultimately affect her ability to have children. With the right lifestyle and mindset changes, she managed to completely reverse it and was inspired to start a natural products business for family and home.

It was through this venture that her deep passion for helping mothers reconnect with their true passion and purpose emerged. She now uses her sixteen years in corporate as a specialist and mentor, as well as her background in psychology, nutrition and finances, to help mothers globally to navigate motherhood with ease and grace, while living a naturally fulfilled life. Visit Tanya on the links below:

Instagram: @natural_mama_coach

Facebook: Wildly Mama Circle



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  1. Anna @ Small Things Mom

    I absolutely LOVE this post! I was raised by a narcissist and I am just now (at age 27) coming to terms with my emotional damage and taking time to heal and become self-aware. It has been such an eye-opening experience and I feel like a brand new person again. I can definitely agree that all of these things are SUPER important! Especially being mindful. Thank you!

    1. Jess

      Oh that must have been very hard, good on your for putting in the work to realise this and learn to prioritise yourself!

  2. Cousett

    This is an amazing post and so needed in my life right now! If it is ok I would love to share this on my own blog and point my readers (not many but I am starting) to your site. Self-care is so important I am just starting on this journey of motherhood and have gotten so caught up so many times and without thinking about myself and I get so exhausted. Thank you for this great post!

    1. Jess

      I’m so glad it helped! Yes, please do share with your own readers 🙂

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